Of Lords and Lullabies
by Almandine-Azaleea
Summary: He should have been angry, furious, irrevocably and royally pissed off, yet somehow the only emotion he could seem to muster was a vague regret. SesshomaruXRinkinda. Rin does something that leads Sesshomaru to some pondering.


**Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha, or any of the characters. The poem is mine.  
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**Of Lords and Lullabies**

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-Sesshomaru-sama...doushita no? Nerarenai no?

He sat silently, not deigning to answer.

"Something troubles Sesshomaru-sama?" Rin's usually chipper voice was almost sombre.

He shook his head. Rin needed not worry about his thoughts.

"Then you cannot sleep after all?"

His eyes followed her. She stopped before touching his hair, silently asking permission with her eyes. He acquiesced.

Reverently almost, and more careful than her usual self, she ran soft fingers through the edges of his hair.

"Rin knows...When Rin was small, Rin's mamma used to do this, and then I would fall asleep."

Sesshomaru did not bother to ask her more, though he was mildly surprised she would willingly talk of the life she had had before.

She had never done so in all her time with him until the present moment.

Rin closed her eyes, fingers becoming more confident with each stroke.

"She said that I had to close my eyes and think of happy things, and not let the bad things that happen bother me...Nee...Sesshomaru-sama, do you let bad things bother you? Rin always tries not to..."her voice stopped abruptly. "Sesshomaru-sama...what do you do when bad things happen?"

Something in her tone told him that this wasn't a mere childish inquiry to continue the conversation.

The fact that she was even alluding that bad things happened to her nearly made his blood boil.

Bad things did not happen to Rin! He protected Rin, and his protection of her was perfect, as his own person.

The impudence...the heart-trembling thought...had something happened to Rin?

"You ought not be thinking about bad things."

She smiled. "Hai, Sesshomaru-sama." Her eyes were downcast. He brought her gaze up, grasping her chin gently.

"You do not hide things from this Sesshomaru."

She flushed understanding the meaning behind his words.

"Oh, no Sesshomaru-sama. Rin is happy, Sesshomaru-sama protects Rin. Rin always feels safe with Sesshomaru-sama..." _but Sesshomaru-sama cannot erase the bad things that happened before Rin met Sesshomaru-sama. _

She did not need to speak the words, he understood, and felt an odd twinge somewhere in the region of his chest.

Sesshomaru was well-aware he had a heart...a muscle to pump the blood to where it needed to go throughout his body, however, his many years of solitude and embittered sibling rivalry had made him forget about its other use. Until Rin.

He turned his head away. He was not yet ready to accept the changes already taking place in his frozen self.

Rin's deft fingers were still treading his hair.

"If Sesshomaru-sama can't sleep Rin will help. Would Sesshomaru-sama please lean back further against this tree?" He decided he could humour her.

Jaken was asleep and Ah-Un, too, was drowsing a little further off.

The movements through his hair became softer, and he felt her breath rustle a few strands.

"Sleep, sleep for I am here till day

Sleep sleep, for I won't leave your side,

Rest peacefully, dream beautifully,

I'll hold you the rest of the night.

Hush and sleep little love,

And in sweet slumber may you rest,

I will not leave you, I will not go.

There are no shadows holding you, only me,

I'll chase the star dust and bring it to you.

I'll weave you flower-wreaths

But go to sleep."

Sesshomaru felt the hair on the back of his neck raise.

Rin's voice reached him on some primal level even he could not explain.

Her voice was not perfect...his honed ears picked up flawed notes, slightly sharp here and there, but there was a sweetness to it, a sense of peace he could not define.

His heart beat that much faster, and it unnerved him. He was not one to react to such...factors with emotion. He shuddered internally .

How did she have such a hold on him? To make the Lord of the West...feel?

She switched to humming. The notes slipped over his ears, made his heart tremble softly.

He did not know why. It was not unpleasant, but it was not familiar, and Sesshomaru did not like what he did not know.

He had to make it stop! Immediately! His muscles refused to move. Was the wench bewitching him?

He felt light, and yet he could not move. In a stroke of, what he considered to be, brilliance he decided to close his eyes.

Surely she would be considerate enough to stop if she thought him to be asleep.

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Rin watched her beloved Sesshomaru-sama drift further and further into slumber, and had to stifle a giggle upon seeing his eyes finally close. The man did not know when to go to bed!

He looked regal even in his sleep, and her heart sped up just seeing him before her...so vulnerable, and yet completely impenetrable.

"Sesshomaru-sama" It was as much a declaration of love as it would ever be, and he would be none the wiser.

Her lips sought out and kissed his hair gently. She dared not move. Her actions were shameful!

She stayed still, remorse gnawed at her. Sesshomaru-sama would not know in the morning, but she would. She had had no right...and yet...perhaps it could be alright.

Her own eyes were becoming leaden. She leaned against the tree, trying to occupy as little of his pelt as possible. Sleep claimed her even as her heart reproached her for her brazenness.

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He felt the air stir and then a fleeting pressure on his hair told him he had just been kissed.

The great Sesshomaru-sama, Lord of The West, Dog General, excellent warrior, and overall perfection embodied, had just been kissed...by a mortal girl; in a way fitted for one's _children_ no less.

He should have been angry, furious, irrevocably and royally pissed off, yet somehow the only emotion he could seem to muster was a vague regret, though he was not sure as to why.

Surely, if she had violated his person in such a crude manner she would be fit to be angered with, part of him growled.

The counter to that particular consensus was more along the lines of "You're only pissed coz it wasn't your mouth she was kissing".

He wondered in passing when his inner demon had started to sound like his useless half-brother.

Surely the demon was more physical and direct in his approach, but to his own memory he could not recall ever using the word "pissed" before.

Tired of semantics, he began pondering Rin's filial, or perhaps not quite so filial, actions.

His mind was still hung up on the breathy utterance of his name- an action which, he felt, should have at least made him shudder in disgust, if not actually make him physically sick, none of which had happened- and her strong, almost too-sweet, unmistakable scent swirling around him more powerfully than ever before.

For a split second he had detected fear in her scent, and he wondered why that, of all the things would have made his heart nearly stop beating.

It had disappeared quickly, yet he was still reeling from it. Rin's heartbeat had settled, and he knew she was asleep.

How could he trust her? How did he trust her so much as to actually close his eyes around her?

He hadn't wanted sleep, he didn't need it, he had slept...er...last time he had slept was...

With the realization that he hadn't slept more than a couple of hours, every few fortnights or so, for the past decade, also came the shocking reason as to why it had been so, and more importantly why he had allowed it to be so.

The new-found knowledge was all-the-more disturbing since it made him understand one thing he had been refusing to admit: he was not dead.

Rin had slowly been bringing him to life...rather, to act as though he was alive. In turn he had granted her protection at the cost of his time, all his time. Night or day.

His Rin was to be kept safe. At all times. No exceptions allowed! And Sesshomaru being the determined youkai he was, ensured that those rules be kept without fail.

He had been fooling himself, though.

Rin's safety had never been a duty, nor what he considered to be matter of pride, it had been a matter of the heart he didn't know he still possessed, and an expression of his long-growing feelings.

He groaned internally.

"Feelings" ? The word did not apply to such perfect creatures as himself. Surely not. It was merely a chemical response.

Like every time he brushed her hair when she was asleep, and every time he allowed himself to play Naraku's game to ascertain her safety, every skip of his heart at seeing her safe again.

All chemistry. And, satisfied with that concept, the great Lord Sesshomaru succumbed to sleep, resolving to not allow himself be bothered with such trifling details in the future.

_Feelings, indeed. _

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_**Author's Note:**_** I hope you all enjoy it. :) The first line means: "What's the matter? Can't sleep?"- just thought I should translate that, just in case. :) This is for my reviewers, which I greatly appreciate, and especially for Neisha- you get better soon now. :)  
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